Why did you give me
So much desire?
When there is nowhere I can go
To offload this desire
And why did you give me
So much love
In a loveless world
When there's no one I can turn to
To unlock all this love
And why did you stick me in
Self-deprecating bones and skin


well, later on today i leave to mexico. my thoughts? i hope i don't do the things i did last year. last year when i went to mexico i had just broken up with joseph. it left me feeling emptier and more confused than ever. in conclusion, i did things that i probably wouldnt do this year. i hope to find more of myself during this trip. and when i come back, im really hoping i know what to do in different aspects of my life. i hope i have clearer goals and ambitions. i hope to know what to do when it comes to guys haaaa. and i hope seeing the virgin will really connect me back to church because lately, i dont even know what mass is :|

patience

patience, something greatly valued, but not by myself. patience has only gotten me into giving far to many chances and not putting my foot down. ............ :| anyways, today the beach with joseph luis cathy etc was fun. i went in deeper than usual. had a phone call with andy in which i basically spoke of nothing and just made weird ass noises to him and even sang him a guns n roses song, yes i was that bored :) friday i went to the beach with kalie tiff syl and his cousin. summer 09 is filled with great days, just not great emotions that i come to meet during the night. pictures later.

we got the beat

i've always been a rather boring person

showing our patriotic side with dragon tats, perfect right?

walked around morrisson for no freaken reason and ran into way too many awkward people

i have no idea, but we always look like this

another sign...

missing lilly :(
this was before we went into her house to get my leather tights, unfortunately we ran into her mom

TOO MUCH FOOOOOOOOOD

enjoyed kalie's misinforming magazine at the park

we were once a happy family

old no makeup pale @ palm springs :)

a day in the life

since i have no school and no work, what do i do with ALL the spare time granted? well not granted, but rather blessed with....? wake up at 11 something, think about how i have time to shower so that austin wouldnt see me all dirty as he has been lately. im in the restroom he calls and he already is outside. how cute did i look barely waking up without having the chance to even brush my teeth? hahaha ill leave that up to him. then played rockband in my room because im sooo excited that i finally got MY ps3 that i received on my 16th birthday in my room along with a big ol tv :) after tiff and aiza come pick us up to eat in n out. it was about 1:30 when i realized i did not crave food at all. if you know anything about me, you know that's INSANE! after, shannon and i picked up tiff to go swimming at the apartments. i tried my hardest to tan, i even put on tanning oil and soaked up the sun for around a hour. a security guard had to rain on our parade and asked who lived there. we made up some excuse that allowed us to swim for around 20 minutes, which was just fine. we then decided to see whether or not tapia was working for the hooooooooooook ups :) fortunately he was. we swallowed carne asada nachos. NICE RECOMENDATION TAP! really appreciate it :D later, we returned to my house and took advantage of the tv in my room. we played rock band and took it somewhat too serious. couldnt help but to blame kalie for loosing fans and not gaining as much as we can. i got on the mic, and we realized we needed to stop. then kalie had the brilliant idea of going to the mall to get a cinnabon. we went we saw we ate and conquered :B AND YEAH THATS MY DAY AND I STILL HAVENT SHOWERED FROM THE POOL BECAUSE THAT'S HOW METAL I AM.

alsatian cousins

were you and he lovers? and would you say so if you were?

mister joseph. shared a great amount of my time and secrets with him. why deny it, he is probably one of the people who know me sincerely. even though we used to be lovers [such an ugly word to describe us] it's still nice to have each other listen. to just LISTEN.
it's nice to have a person like him to listen to everything i've got to say. although we are in definite separate paths now, that most likely will NEVER cross again, it's just nice.